Monday January 24, 2011. Kalyn, Pam, Dave and I finished moving the last of the things from Dad/Grandpa's "condo." As we did so, with tears in our eyes, I was moved by just how completely empty these rooms were, but how completely overflowing my heart was. He was gone from this place, and yet he will never be gone from our hearts. Never. We had an angel father/grandfather, and though we had many hard decisions to make in his last years, and saw him struggle with life's simplest tasks, this thought came to my mind over and over: WE DID WELL. There is no manual on how to make choices when you're faced with the needs of an elderly parent, but WE DID WELL. There are no written instructions on how to daily clothe, daily feed, daily bathe and daily love them, but WE DID WELL. There are no clear paths on how to behave or how to relate to a parent that sometimes says things that make sense and sometimes doesn't, but WE DID WELL. There is no course in caring for an ailing elderly father when all you truly want in your heart is to rewind to a time when you could dance on top of his feet, push Windsong up a hill with him or curl his hair, but WE DID WELL. We all did what we could. And WE ALL DID WELL.
As I stared at the clipboard hanging on his wall and saw the many many notations of those who had loved and cared for him I silently said in my head over and over: WE DID WELL. It's true, there will be no more entries on that chart. There will be no more records of his bathing. Or notations on his eating. There will be no more scribblings that simply say: he is sleeping. Because he is no longer sleeping. He is dancing with mom, laughing with Ruth Ann and Howard and hugging all the others he loves who went before.
I'm proud of each of you. I love each of you. We all had to do lots of hard things. And I hope in the coming days that you will have a heart and mind that is comforted by this truth: WE DID WELL.
